I have to seriously thank you all for the messages & emails I received about the first installment of ‘The Truth About Our Marriage’ post from last week. SEE!??! We are not alone! It’s SO hard when you first have a baby to balance everything, which inevitably leads to not getting along in some form or another. This does not make you a bad couple. This is NOT make you a miserable couple. It just means, you need to get your, for lack of a better term, crap together and realize it’s GOING to be like this for a few months until you get into your groove.
One person wrote me and said “Oh your blog…made me feel sooo much better about my life!” and went on to say “I think many households have this same type of issue! It is funny that no one really talks about how much a marriage is affected by the birth of a baby! Just know that you are not alone…and I totally agree that challenges come with amazing lives! If it was all easy it would not be worth living right?”
Bingo girlfriend! It’s going to be hard, it is. Everyone that was throwing the more negative advice at me before Cammy was born was all on the side of the baby. “The baby will cry so much, the baby needs so much attention, the baby won’t sleep…etc etc etc” (Duh, babies Do that!) But I don’t really remember anyone saying, okay..if you’ve been picking up after your husband for the past four years, tell him to learn how to do housework NOW because you’ll be needing that, haha! Now I LOVE my husband and in no way shape or form is this demeaning towards him. I am one of fifty people I could call right now who would agree. This is a common issue! It’s not me insulting my husband. He IS a lazy bum, ask me! Ask my sister! Ask HIM! 🙂 He’s getting better though but only since that sense of urgency to clean arrived once the baby came.
I even left him a note (pictured below) this weekend when I went to shoot a wedding that reminded him to check her diaper..not because he’s an idiot…but because he’s a new dad and sometimes he will forget to check it when she’s fussing and he just keeps trying to calm her down. It’s easy to slip the mind, I DO IT TOO, everyone does. Then ten minutes into trying to get her to stop crying…oh geez, she has a wet diaper. No wonder. No gold star for mommy on that one! Also? I said dishes done & trash out before video games. Because I’m a jerk? NO. Because I WORK FULL TIME as a mom AND a business owner. OH—- and I’m nursing. Nursing is 100% another job in it’s own way, at least a part time job. You have to eat more, drink more & pump, and stop to feed for longer. Five months in and I’m not giving up til month 12 unless I have a VERY good reason. I got sick last weekend by myself while Mike was away at a wedding, got really dehydrated, and had a hard time getting enough stored for the wedding weekend but guess what? I did it, because there is no alternative right now and mama made things happen! (And YES, eating and drinking more are hard and tiring when I have to stop and prepare food when there is editing and blogging to be done!) No one gets it unless they’re in these shoes.
The outpouring was awesome and I appreciate it! I DO love him soooooo much…beyond words, and seeing what a great dad he is and husband to me will never get old. Watching him make our precious Cammy Mae laugh, give her baths, putting the detangler in perfectly and combing her hair at night, it ALL makes me melt. After five months, we are slowly getting back to where we were but we’re still newlyweds in our hearts and now new parents. It’s not easy but between the two of us, we have it handled and are ready to cease some of the bickering and enjoy watching our baby grow 🙂 Thank you again everyone, Happy Monday! 🙂
Cammy when I came home from shooting wedding: