It HIT me today like a ton of big old red bricks (the kind that would make for a beautiful backdrop in an engagement session, okay workaholic, shut up now! or pretty white bricks, too..k stop) — I may have been looking at this all wrong the entire time. This finally-achieving-your-dream and how you treat it afterwards thing.
I accepted when I was in Elementary School that I would wear a ladies business suit and go into an office and doing business lady things when I grew up, my mom and dad worked their butts off and showed that example to me for years and I literally just accepted that I would probably be doing the same one day. I appreciate their examples of work ethic and doing what they had to in order to maintain a house and family for their children and no offense mom & dad, I am thankful I do not have to wear those suits. I do NOT look good in them.
I am in my dream job right now that brings happy tears to my eyes more times a week than I’ll ever publicly admit. I am documenting the HISTORY of kind-hearted people who choose to hire me now, I am a part of their lives and they thankfully are a huge part of mine. I produce a finished product of them in their element during big life events or just afternoon strolls on the beach or in pretty settings living their lives here, now. Something for them to always look back on. I *am* documenting someone’s actual history and love story, how-amazing-is-that. It supports my family too, and while it took SO much investment to save up for the necessary equipment and multiple other large purchases and monthly costs, it was worth EVERY single time we didn’t go out to eat or on a long vacation this year. We simply had to sacrifice one year of frivolous (but fun, because we LOVE that stuff) expenses to make this dream finalized and ready to EXPLODE in 2013.
With that said, there are a LOT of things I have learned over this past year from personal matters to business and I have finally gotten the last big swift kick in the rear thanks to Jasmine Star and her incredibly motivating and inspirational magazine, EXPOSED. Oh please, if you’re a photographer (and a decent person, you can not be a jerk and appreciate this kind of girls heart, honesty and candid humor) ask for this for Christmas! What a game changer for me, I have so many new outlooks that I feel ashamed of not having before. So, with this post I had to throw everything out there that may have been effecting me to get it “over and done with” and prepared for a new outlook in 2013.
NOT APOLOGIZING FOR WHO YOU ARE: I know who I am, I know how I was raised. I know I am sassy and sometimes too honest especially when I feel like I am standing up for what I believe is right in the name of the truth. I know I get frustrated too easily, too stressed and my feelings hurt so easily and I constantly am worried everyone, my family or friends are mad at me for being too spacey and missing something. I am so awkward sometimes, I get really nervous at random times for NO reason. I love people but sometimes I can not bring myself to talk to someone at the grocery store for friendly conversation, I just want to keep to myself. Cammy of course changes that, EVERYONE talks to us now because she forces me to break out of my shell. It’s amazing what a child can do for your life and especially your comfort zone 🙂 She also reminds me that as long as I’m a good mother to her and give her the love and attention she deserves, I have no reason to apologize for who I am.
NOT EVERYONE IS GOING TO LIKE YOU: I am GOING TO ACCEPT that some people don’t and won’t like me, at all! Some people will have no reason, some people will have reasons, some people will think they have a reason but will be painfully wrong, but I don’t care. Sometimes people have no reason but they “gradually manifest & boil over” which in my weird world of expressions mean they sit there starting to put together tiny things that have no meaning or anything against you and form a dislike for you out of their own looking into things too much and lots of spare time (and maybe Facebooking too much). Sometimes, there is absolutely nothing you can do about it and that is OKAY. In an industry where people are always out to deliberately hurt feelings out of their own personal, artistic or booking insecurities who spout out what I like to call destructive criticism, we can become stronger than ever and better ourselves with life events like this that happen. Like Jasmine wrote in Exposed, they say it’s hard because it is hard! It’s SUCH a challenge and I fell into some of the no-no’s that I should have known better about and it’s so beautiful that we get fresh starts in life and chances to change things all around.
STAYING POSITIVE & GROWING FROM NEGATIVITY: I try so hard to maintain a positive attitude but I do slip into the negativity at times. This is something I am changing today. One of the most refreshing parts of the entire magazine was about the photographer who pulled her aside and told her she was copying them. Wow…did this resonate with me or what. Her emotions following the confrontation? Devastated, hurt, confused. Her work looked nothing like theirs. Her attitude to turn it all around? To promise to never assume someone was copying her…because like she says, she didn’t invent the hug or holding hands. To be a better person and know in her heart and mind that she knew the truth and that was all that mattered. This kind of thing happens DAILY in this industry..and I can tell you from personal experience that you can buy your camera before someone, learn faster, work harder, launch your business first and someone will STILL have the audacity to make such a trivial accusation. Run from it, forget it, use it to get better. We only live once and truth holders are the more successful party. Working hard to get technically better, treating every person that emails you with respect and leaving the attitude in your past will make your business go a LONG way.
REMEMBER WHY YOU FELL IN LOVE WITH PHOTOGRAPHY. Would the girl who wanted this so deeply and desperately in the beginning be proud of the woman who is running the business today? If you treat EVERY single inquiry and wedding like it was your only one, like it deserves to be, you will start to remember why you are one of the luckiest people in the world to have this career.
We owe to our clients, we owe it to ourselves.
I am so glad this revelation has come to me RIGHT before the launch of my promotional video and I get to go in with a refreshed and more positive attitude! If you know me, I’m alwyas pretty upbeat and positive but everyone needs a detox every now and then. I wish anyone pursuing this line of work/dream the ABSOLUTE best and when you find yourself judging someone else, assuming things or jumping to conclusions…remember why you wanted this in the first place.