Everyone has been through something similar to what I’m about to open up to, but it’s very very very not talked about and that’s okay, sometimes it’s just easier for people that way. Sometimes it hurts too much, sometimes it’s too sensitive of a topic. I just found the MOST unexpected way to overcome this and I feel so-much-better…so much so that the knot that’s been in my stomach for YEARS has begun to unwind. It’s the most freeing and liberating feeling that I’ve needed for so long. I know writing this will help someone else out there.
Recently I had an inquiry from a girl getting married and she is the NICEST person ever, so naturally I was hoping she would book with me. I had a very genuine feeling about her that she was a kind person and that’s definitely the kind of client I enjoy working with…and this girl is as sweet as they come. When I found out she had decided to go with another person, I was totally fine..I never get upset about that because there are SO many amazing photographers in the area and I don’t take it personally. You can mark my words on that one. But then, I found out who and it was someone I did NOT have a good history with and that even the closest people they network with had privately messaged me and told me how much they’ve been hurt by them repeatedly. We will leave it at that and nothing else will be mentioned about this person- so don’t ask me! I was corresponding with the bride about her decision and then I did something then that I had NEVER done before, and I *COMPLIMENTED THEM*. I complimented one of the people I liked the absolute least in this world. I couldn’t believe my own eyes reading my message.
People, I can’t tell you how that changed my entire world at that moment. Instead of the knots in stomach feeling I would get before thinking of a way to AVOID saying anything and changing the subject, I just naturally without thinking too much about it complimented the other person’s work and wished the bride well. That amazing bride who chose not to go with me changed my entire world that day and I have to thank her. In her making a life decision for herself, she made one for me, too. Complimenting that person made me feel FREE and unburdened. Everything happens for a reason.
No matter who you are or what you do for a living, you’ve been through this. I finally, FINALLY was able to let go that day of EVERYONE that has hurt me or tried to manipulate my happiness in any way. Anyone that I disagree with. Anyone that THINKS they know me and has blatantly judged me before getting to know me or knowing why I am doing something that I’m doing. It’s so freeing to be the bigger person and just say you know what, we’re not all going to get along in this world. You guys, unfortunately, not everyone is going to like you!!!!! When you’re happy-go-lucky like me, that is a very hard pill to swallow. Falling outs happen and people will automatically just NOT like you, but I would much rather sit here and be nice, even to people who can’t stand me and keep living my life rather than stressing about it. I don’t consider anyone an “enemy” anymore, I just consider them a “lesson”. Thank you to that bride who unknowingly changed my world, who is going to be incredibly beautiful, have an awesome wedding day and wonderful photography. What an amazing unexpected lesson in my life I’ve been waiting for. I hope you too can find solace in stress by changing your perspective on a difficult situation. I believe it’s going to make me a better person, wife, mother, business woman and photographer 🙂