Remember how I blogged that we were going to wait to have another? And then I blogged about how I blogged that we were going to wait to have another baby but we changed our minds and hearts?

Well, who’s to say that we can even have one in the first place- but we did decide to try again. I found myself re-reading the blog about waiting to have another baby and thinking, I was in a very deep business mode mind frame at that time and didn’t give myself enough credit that I could be capable of rocking out this business and being a mother. Our hearts and minds changed not too long after making that “decision” and we decided that another baby was where we were heading.

Even BETTER of a sign to make that decision? The fact that after the first wedding of the season I turned the entire wedding around in days. Shoot it Saturday, edited by Monday night, blogged Tuesday, accepted to be published on online wedding blogs TWICE and mailed that week!
Come on! Mama has the workflow GOING! Now, it’s not perfect but it’s getting very tightened up and I like it. Didn’t know how to run this ship as tightly as I wanted for years and now I know what needs to be done and how I work best.

So, last month we tried for the first time and were unsuccessful. Maybe we timed late (we are 99% sure we timed late, anyone who has TRIED to get pregnant knows what we are talking about!) and maybe we just didn’t have it happen because it wasn’t meant to. That would have been a late December baby and because I have an early December wedding this year, that may have been a sign. I am totally not afraid to shoot pregnant (hello! my whole first year, 20 weddings pregnant until 36 weeks shooting! loved it!) but we are thinking January is sounding great right now for a new little one 🙂 If not, hopefully February or March, but unfortunately we can’t try past the point of June because of wedding season. Does it sound hypocritical to say we don’t want to put life on hold yet we won’t have a baby during wedding season? Kind of– but the truth is, that income is detrimental to our family and livelihood, it could be a lot that we miss out on and PLUS I LOOOOOVE shooting Spring weddings and would absolutely want to be available for them! 🙂

Well- here’s to wishing that we don’t get “stuck” waiting until next year and that it happens again in the next couple of months <3 Cammy deserves a sibling and will make an EXCELLENT big sister! 🙂

And– I definitely don’t want to share TMI, but trying to conceive isn’t so easy for everyone. Not everyone can just make googly eyes at each other and see a plus sign, hahaha! I know what it’s like to spend $$$ on tons of negative tests and what it’s like to cry over it. I have a lot of friends, clients and colleagues who have shared their struggles so I love being open and honest and doing the same XOXOXO!

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Posted by:amandahedgepeth

<p>Hey there! We’re a husband and wife team who has the honor to document inspiring wedding days for the most cheerful couples around. We have three daughters lovingly referred to as the mermaid mafia and we love nothing more than salty beach days, laughing as much as possible and living the simple, good life.</p>

6 replies on “It Begins | Personal

  1. For almost 10 years, I was told I would not be able to have children due to a botched surgery I had at 18. Two years ago while Steve was out to sea for 10 months, I went off the pill as a cleanse process and trying to get away from putting chemicals in my body. (I mean why be on it if I don’t need it, right?) So, at the same time I was meeting with my long time OBGYN and he sent me for some testing. He said since I had gained a little weight since I was 18 (who hasn’t??) I had several VERY SMALL areas that were not covered in scar tissue that if the magic found it was to one of the microscopic points and attached, we may get lucky. He also told me at that time, in vitro would never been an option and not to get my hopes up. Steve came home and a whole year and a half passed. I woke up every morning, shoved a thermometer in my mouth before my feet hit the floor, I charted an ungodly amount. In December, my 18 year old cousin who I have watched blossom in every way of life, confided in us, she was pregnant and having to leave her Christian College. Gut punch. I remember thinking, ‘really God, you are going to rock this family (her mom is a pastor!), make this young woman leave college and have a baby she is not mentally, emotionally, financially, or physically ready for, but I cant have one??’ In January, I dropped my Kindle that had my year and a half’s hard work saved on it. With out backing it up, Steve wiped it clean to reset it. DEVESTATING! I gave up. I stopped charting and we started looking into adoption. After speaking to a few places, we were told to wait, again. With Steve’s deployment schedule, no one would hand a baby over to us, and I wouldn’t want to spend the cast majority of the first year alone. We did a lot of praying. Late February, I started to get horrible headaches and went to the doctor. Low and behold, we had a miracle (not a word I use lightly). Not only was I pregnant, I was 2/3 of my way through my 1st trimester and had no idea! The doctor ran the test twice, he was just as shocked as I was. I truly feel it happened when it was supposed to happen. They say ‘We plan, God laughs’. Stay strong, cry when you need to, and it will happen just when it is suppose to. No sooner, no later. We are all here cheering you on and ready to squeal with you when it happens!

  2. I love this Amanda!! LOL and this is so true- “Not everyone can just make googly eyes at each other and see a plus sign, hahaha!” Love the post, thanks for being you! So open and honest and sweet. I hope it happens soon! xoxo

  3. I love how open and honest you are about your personal life, whether it be struggles or triumphs. I love reading your story. Your last paragraph got me a tad misty eyed because its SO true!! I will never again ask someone when they are going to have a baby or when they are going to have #2, or #3, etc. Though not intentional, I know how upsetting those questions can be to someone who wants those things so bad yet are having trouble getting there. Im so excited you guys are taking the plunge and it WILL happen for you! <3 <3

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