Silly title, I know, but it’s how I felt when I saw my husband’s face last night. I never feel fearful or submissive in the least. Even though this is 2013, I still hear so many women say “let me ask me husband” (paraphrase: let my ask my husband permission), “my husband would never allow me to …” “my husband would kill me if I…” etc. I do what I want, so does he, but we are both on the same page and well within reason of our decision making on our own that for the most part, we really don’t make each other mad on exponential levels that need serious addressing.
But last night, after a weekend where he kicked butt second shooting for me and we had an amazing, amazing BEAUTIFUL family day on Sunday…he sat at the table eating his dinner and I answered a couple emails. Of course, my auto-response says I will respond on Monday but I wanted to tackle at least a couple. I turned to him and said “heyyyyy honey, don’t be mad, but I did accept one session to shoot during my maternity leave.” I have a pretty pink framed mirror on my desk that makes my “office feel bigger” and I saw him in it. He looked so disappointed. Before he even spoke, he looked so so so disappointed in me, and he really doesn’t ever express that towards me. He does think I do and work too much – cramming so much into one month to be accommodating to everyone, but he looked kind of REALLY mad this time. He said to me after taking a second, “No you’re not”…and I said, “yes I really am but just this one”. He watched me not heal properly from my c-section and endure a year of pain at the incision because of my determination to keep moving and never rest, and he said “fine, but just ONE. I’m putting my foot down on this.” (Yes, he uses expressions like a 70 year old man all the time, I’m working on it hahahah)
SO WEIRD to see someone so passive and kind get angry over something like this, but he’s RIGHT. This time I really am taking just one during my maternity leave of December 21-February 28. I have to listen to him because it’s not about just sitting around and being lazy while right before giving birth/right after, it’s about my health and being able to heal properly this time.
On another note regarding the fact that this Sunday, we got an amazing day full of family time in and it felt like it’s supposed to and like I always dreamed of having– I HAVE TO THANK MY CLIENTS lately who have allowed me to see my family again on the weekends! I can’t tell you how good it feels to have someone book you and say they will work around not shooting on the weekends. I am not the only photographer who doesn’t accept weekend sessions, but I would never, never, never get family time and watch that time slip away month after month like I used to because I already am shooting weddings and hosting events, so to be able to say “yes, I can throw my daughter a birthday party on a Sunday! and yes, I can attend this family function for the first time in YEARS! yes, I can go to OBX for a day with my husband and daughter and TOGETHER!” — has been SO AMAZING! We feel a little more “normal” getting to see each other more, my husband works 10-6:30pm Mon-Friday so this is our only time to be together, thank you so much to those clients who allow us to schedule weekday sessions you are improving the quality of a family and little girl’s life being able to see her mama and her daddy on a lot more some Saturdays and most Sundays now :):):) One bride recently thanked me for being honest about my family values, they want a big family and she said she wouldn’t want to take any time away from her family being together on the weekends one day, too! I book the best brides with the biggest hearts <3