I know it is CRAZY to think that this is ONLY the *second* blog that I have posted this week! You know something is going on when I am not blogging consistently, and it’s hard to admit when I fall behind but I kind of have been! The truth is, when we moved here..it was a hard transition..and then our appreciation and PURE JOY and love for where we lived sucked us into this force we can’t seem to describe where we enjoyed each other’s company more and found ourselves giving the babies in our lives..the babies that will NEVER EVER be babies again..our time. It was hard to find time to edit, email, etc..people are double emailing me when I haven’t responded in 2-3 days because they are SO not used to me not emailing back right away! And then there was last night when my husband was hit by a tractor trailer and totaled his car that started to catch fire and smoked and yeah— he’s alive thankfully but he could have very well not come home to me last night. Or these girls. So I’m a little overwhelmed right now to say the least.
The air is different here, I say it all the time. It’s different. When I went to BVI for Brittany and Kris’s wedding this May..my life was changed by learning about people who are able to live on island time. Island time is a phenomenon you could only dream of living by — for our waitress to drop off our breakfast, walking slowly to the table, and slowly away..and not coming back for almost 40 minutes that morning after we rushed the meal eating process as usual like we do here (Tara..you know we did! And your smoothie was sooo good. I can’t stop thinking of that dag gone smoothie right now girl) … it was the beginning of a couple of days that taught me a big life lesson. I was also reading Thrive by Ariana Huffington and seeing how unfortunately nowadays our mental health and being rushed constantly is literally killing people, physically, our souls, our well being. We are getting accustomed to this societal expectation that everything needs to happen NOW. She goes on to say all kinds of inspiring things that warmed my heart and soul but it was the fact that her employees are able to take naps and rest when needed AND ENCOURAGED to vacation that taught me a big life lesson. I am my only employee. I do the best I can but I can not be a sick and miserable mother, wife or individual to be perfect all of the time. I do everything I can and spend many late nights working. I may fall behind sometimes but I will always do my best, the best I can as one individual to make this business run the best she can. I am a human. We are all flawed..and I am admitting I am not a perfect business owner and mama. Did I mention both of my children have fallen off of the bed really hard at some point because I’ve been so exhausted that I literally passed out taking care of them? PASSED OUT and put my babies at risk. I mentioned it with Cammy a couple of years ago but it recently happened with Ellie, too. Waking up to that noise is the worst– and I feel like crap and it happened a couple of weeks ago. I almost got sick the second I heard her hit the floor..but I had been up pushing and pushing and pushing through working every single day whenever Mike got home.
Amongst all the craziness..I STILL haven’t missed blogging a wedding (over 100+ images per blog!!) within 1-2 weeks of it (some people tell me they NEVER even saw their wedding hit a blog, and I give myself a hard time if its not up by the Wednesday after) but I have been taking so much longer than I want on final turn around time!! As an estimate from editors on how much it would cost to outsource editing..$6000 per year would be the minimum. That means I would be spending an ENTIRE wedding and a half financially to pay to outsource the wedding editing to someone else. That, to me, is the last step in my financial business making decisions and investments but I can’t do it until at least 2016!! One day though!! In the mean time– HUSTLE..just like I did the first year with ONE camera, two lenses and one flash. HUSTLE.
But– I’m okay. It’s weird not to be consistent right now but I’m okay. This is life, life does this. We are okay if anyone was wondering where we went hahahah!! 🙂 Just pushing through a bit of a rough patch. I’m so ready to pummel through this busy busy month and then finish it up with our FIRST family trip to Disney that we got a heck of a deal on through our friend Amy who helps families plan Disney vacations! Email me if you need her info! 🙂
The thing to remember and accept about work life balance– is that sometimes, it will be unbalanced. There is no perfect person out there who has all the bills paid on time, dinner ready and a clean house and kids while running a perfectly efficient business. All we can give is everything we have to a healthy degree and know at the end of the day we loved our incredible clients, our families and ourselves to the best of our ability given the circumstances.