You know, I remember thinking…once I’ve been doing this for a couple years, I’ll have it down. I’ll have it all figured out– I’ll know what to do, every plan will be in place, and order will be restored in my life.
Hopeful little Amanda, a total dreamer! Although I do have to say, I feel pretty confident to say even in the unorganized times — I’m doing pretty well taking into account the correspondence volume, workload and being a mama of two little ones. When you throw in all of those factors, I’m doing well, and I’m actually really content…but still not that ideal perfect that I imagined I’d be at.
Here I am writing– and it’s 2:56am, and I’m just WIRED. I went through over 90 emails tonight and they only date back as far as 4 days ago! Two of those days were weekend dates too– so that’s a lot of email in a short period of time! And…I’m GRATEFUL! I love it! I LOVE the love and the correspondence, keep it coming!
But– the point is, there is no one doing this for me. Sometimes, this is what the dream looks like. Most nights am I up CRAZY late like this? NO! This is sooo rare! I am out by midnight usually. But the dream can be steady steady steady and then BAM, a late nighter again. It’s not an office you clock in and out of and leave your work there at the computer desk to stay while you separate that environment completely from the work commute toward home until arriving back the next day. My work, it’s always here. And I used to do this all the time– the SUPER late nights, but I don’t like to. I’m not a fan of losing tons of sleep and pushing through late nights anymore– so these have to be rare!
Behind me, two little girls are asleep on the couch. My little support system, my tiniest biggest fans. I had to keep them down here with me while Mike got some sleep before work, so it’s me with this bright blaring screen, two little sweet seastars sleeping the night away and me…working late. And that’s okay, because some nights– you just may have to pull a late one…but try not to make a habit of it! Sleep is SO important and these rare nights may be productive, but getting sleep makes me MORE valuable the next day! I have to admit, I am not the nicest mama or most patient when I’m tired. In the Best Yes — I just finished the chapter talking about not making decisions when you’re experiencing any of the HALT acronym members– Hungry, Angry, Lonely or Tired….and it makes sense, right? It’s when we’re the most vulnerable and we’re being tested. Below are a couple of images from HuffPost about sleep and I have to agree– we REALLY have felt sooo much better the past year sleeping MORE! Ellie, THANK YOU! She sleeps amazingly through the nights!
I know the late nights become routine for some of you– but please let this be a RARE thing because of the following:
There is no perfect with this dream..you just make it perfectly yours. You will have late work nights occasionally…even after the babies come. BUT– catch up after that! Don’t pull more than one late nighter a month if you can help it! You will feel the need for recharge and inspiration. You will feel down, and then you’ll get back up! We are all in the same boat. Let’s all keep paddling together and move this ship with grace and steadily toward our goals and dreams!