This morning I was laying in bed. Ellie is congested, so we have that little ball of chubby joy in bed with us. I lay here..thinking about yesterday. Almost being run off the road by a vacationer, negative person after negative person on social media. Knowing some friends are going through hard times. Just a lot of overwhelmed feelings. Then I look down, and the words on my arm are just yelling RIGHT in my face, and finally I opened my eyes to read them again.
LIVE IN THE SUNSHINE.
There is a reason I got those words tattooed in what Mike and I chose as a very authentic place on my arm. Knowing I would see them as a constant reminder, knowing that I needed that. When we moved here and slowly I started letting anything from the past creep back in, I saw that tattoo and it made me smile. When my brother passed away, I looked at my arm and realized we could STILL choose to live in the sunshine despite this experience of knowing he did this to himself and what it means to live with knowing that, and knowing I didn’t go see him for the past year because of the drugs.
But occasionally, there will be a week that I know the tattoo is there, but I don’t SEE it. I get used to it, and I see a line instead of POWERFUL words. It’s kind of like that with God, too. I’m still newly invested in finding my faith, but I’m VERY dedicated to it when I’m giving it time and attention…but when I don’t, when I go a week without reading a devotional or journaling or studying the Word, I feel empty in a way. I’m missing that feeling of peace when I don’t devote TIME to Him…and it directly effects the way I feel about myself and others. If I had taken time to study, read a little more from my Jesus Calling book, etc earlier this week– those things that all bothered me yesterday may not have effected me so heavily.
I am grateful to have those words on my arm. Words that remind me of God’s grace, the journey he has put me on, and that keep me on track when I slip at devoting time to Him the way I should be. Also, I do have to say, even when I don’t take the time weekly for devotionals… we still have been attending a Sunday class together with Father Phil and it’s been so amazing for us, we hold hands, we soak it all in. Last week, I cried in front of everyone letting so much out talking about what led me back to church. And then Father Phil let me use his hanky 🙂 And all was well, hahah!
Now, I know you all won’t all go get tattoos on your arm to put the words there like I did last Fall…(or you might, hey, imitation is the highest form of flattery!!) (yikes, sometimes! haha!!) but if you ARE a religious person, and you are having a week that feels off, pour yourself more into Him. He WILL answer you and bring you peace!