I am in the office (aka our little girls bedroom, so fancy!) as images upload, and it just hits me. And I BAWL. Good gosh, I am so so so tired. I am so freaking tired, mentally and physically. Our poor minds in this day and age…it NEVER ends. We are wired, we are CONNECTED, we are measured by how much we can take, how fast we can go and how much we can handle. Who can work the most and the fastest?! It’s like a race we didn’t realize we signed up for until we’re passed out on the sidelines begging for water and trying to catch a breath.
But you guys, with all of this technology we’ve created and connected ourselves to..we are actually still human. We need sleep. We need face-to-face interaction. And mostly? We need a break.
Overall, I have to say I was good to myself this pregnancy compared to the last two. My wedding gallery turn around time went up (weddings STILL blogged the week after though, wahoo!) but I wasn’t sick and burnt out and up all night editing like I used to, I actually took care of my body and this little life inside of me. But lately, I am going and going and going. And I enjoy it because that’s who I am but I have to actually remind myself to slow down. My online calendar has SCHEDULED days off. So technically yes I can squeeze friend visits and sessions on those dates but I learned my lesson the past couple of years and I now say no, I can’t work 7 days a week and be a mama of two with one on the way. I need to be a HUMAN now and recharge so I can be a better version of myself for when I do show up for these things!
I am tired, but, I’m happy. I am SO HAPPY it hurts my heart to really take in sometimes. My little girls, oh how amazing they are and they grow up daily and it makes me so damn proud I can hardly handle the sight of it. Ellie is trying so hard to talk and just started using the weirdest little voice that makes me cry laughing and Cammy is so honest she needs me to know every day that my butt is apparently growing at the same rapid pace as my pregnant stomach HAHAHAHAHA! You little jerk, why are you SO cute even when dissing me and my body?! She is SO keep-it-real!
This…this is my life! THIS is my life, hilarious moments, stressful and messy moments. Moments where I ruin my new shirt in the laundry and just cry over a freaking shirt on the floor because it’s another “thing” to deal with that got messed up. Where the girls both go crazy at the grocery store and make a huge scene and I look like a frazzled mom who people are most likely already judging seeing how I have a pregnant belly to compliment those two already breaking down mentally, lol. But gosh you guys, I am sitting here tired and I may be crying but I am so unbelievably happy in this chaotic life because they are my purpose. They are the air I breathe, they are my inspiration. Those brides on wedding days, they were little Cammys and Ellies. They were. And to their parents? They still are. I work hard for them, I love them..and I am so thankful that some of you moms will admit we are all SUCH a freaking mess together.
Mamas, let’s embrace it and continue keeping it real on social media, blogging life..share the “real life is better than perfect” posts and let one another know we are all just trying to get through those daily routines of make the food, clean up the food, wipe the butts, change the clothes, bathe, entertain, teach and then somewhere in all of that..we squeeze in ourselves. For that little workout, for that little email/editing/blogging window, for our own sustenance needs to be met and occasionally…we just may get to shower 🙂
Live in the sunshine with me and the other happy and positive mamas, even on the crazy days that really are oh so beautiful in their own way.