Nothing big or long today, just thoughts from this little five foot tall mama of three here in Kitty Hawk NC on a sunny day. I sit down to blog, the girls watching the new Spongebob that just hit Hulu and there’s Cammy walking around the living room mimicking Spongebob’s new walk with his long pants on…and I’m just laughing way too hard this morning. This simple little Friday morning where I wake up to do the same thing I do every day, and I absolutely love it.
A long time ago, I had the worst Christmas ever. I wanted to stay at school at ODU but I had to come home for the holidays. Drunkenly, I was looked in the eye by a family member and told “no one is EVER going to love you, you’re too needy”.
I’m just now working through the pain of dealing with all of those words, rants and ugly episodes I had to be a part of but one thing I’m confident about is this…SOMEONE DOES. Someone does love me..actually, four people do. I fail daily and God’s grace blesses me with another chance time and time again. Grace upon grace upon grace. And I give that to my family members, too. But Mike? He is the one you said would never come along. He is the one who put goodness back in my heart and supported me when times were so hard. He picked up the pieces of me that were broken by you and by hard times. He is the one who’s seen ME fail by being a jerk to him, others and letting all that built up hurt turn me into a not-so-nice person and he’s watched me turn around my ways just through his love, my child’s love and God’s love. I vow to work as hard as I can with every fiber of me being to continue to be kind, to love him and my daughters with literally everything that I have. But like I said, someone does love me and I am so, so, so glad you were wrong about that.
It’s a sunny day and I’m going to stay happy and positive because that’s just what I do. Thank you Mike for loving me the way you have and doing everything you can to fill a void that’s hard to replace…but that I’m pouring you and our daughters into every day to make up for feeling like I’m missing out on something so many others have. I’m THANKFUL for what and who I have, and that’s the healthy and right attitude to have.
Michael + Carina Photography 🙂