This is a toughie. Jealousy is an emotion, but it’s also an instinct that’s been around since the beginning of time, back to when it came down to survival. Like a lot of instincts, however, we have the choice to evolve from it and I am making a case today to prove to you that you are capable of beginning to evolve out of jealousy and into contentment.
When you want her looks, her nice possessions, her achievements, her relationship with her family members that you don’t have, her joy and her lifestyle……what are you doing? Feeling jealous over things that you can’t control. Your looks won’t change, the car and home and nice things won’t just appear. You may not be able to ever form that relationship she has with her family member that you don’t have. Jealousy, to me, is a huge waste of time. And I know it’s “only natural” to feel it but you know what, I’m in my 30’s and things really changed for me a couple years ago. I watched people unraveling by being overcome with jealousy and it makes people turn into someone I know they’re not in their heart and soul.
Don’t you want to feel light? Don’t you want to lift that weight and burden of resenting others simply for being themselves off your shoulders? You wouldn’t feel so heavy unless you knew in your heart somewhere that it was wrong to feel so jealous over another person’s life…so follow your good instincts that give you that indication and change your life. Change it. Make today the day you stop doing the following…
- Overthinking what people’s lives are like and why you deserve the same/similar success, possessions and achievements
- Obsessing over material possessions that you want and focus on what you have
- Worrying about keeping up with the Jones and impressing others
- Stressing about having everyone liking you and trying so hard
- Starting fights with your own friends because of built-up unspoken resentment
Some ways to stop feeling consumed by anger and jealousy that I’ve found helpful:
- Focusing on my own goals and dreams
- Going the COMPLETE opposite way from desiring other people’s possessions and LESSENING mine with living a “simpler life” — having less material things in my home!
- Spending my time on social media genuinely complimenting and feeling happiness for others instead of dwelling and envying
- Unfollowing those I felt like I couldn’t shake comparison from or I knew didn’t like me
- Pouring into my creative medium and client experience!
- Spending time journaling alongside my Jesus Calling devotional when I was feeling especially down, what a perfect way to refocus! I can’t tell you how many times it mentions this very topic!
Wouldn’t it feel so good to let it go? How LIGHT would you feel, like an actual weight from your burdened shoulders? And if I may, I want to use the word light in another way to explain to you that you will indeed feel an actual light shining on you when you change your perspective. That good, welcoming warm light we all crave. Live in the sunshine is tattooed on my arm for a reason, I SEE the world differently now and have ever since right before we moved to the Outer Banks after Ellie was born. I kind of took a long hard look in the mirror and realized I was just tired. And I was heavy. Holding on to hate and resentment and feeling jealousy just never did anything for me…and I have had such a cheerful and joyful outlook on life ever since decided to be happy for my successful friends, embrace the things that are beautiful about short little me and my looks and of course, drive up and down beach road as much as possible 🙂
This past year on my journey to reunite with God on a deep and personal level, I have noticed such a huge shift in my company and the girls I surround myself with. The conversations have gone from gossipy and negative to positive, supportive and uplifting. Do we all still do the girly gossip thing every now and then? YES, I will not lie about that, but we try to spin everything as compassionately and positive as possible even in situations you wouldn’t think possible because I just don’t want to bet that person anymore and I want to see the best even in the worst times. I want to be a reflection of God’s love and His grace toward us very flawed human beings. If I expect it, I have to give it..and I am so thankful to be surrounded with women who are an incredibly positive influence on my life. A recent blog post from my friend Katelyn truly resonated with me when she said what a gift it is to have friends in this day and age that didn’t harbor jealousy and resentment and I have to agree…that has been one of my absolute greatest gifts these past few years, and I won’t ever take it for granted. Leave your heavy jealousy and resentment behind. Learn to breathe again. No matter who you are and what you’ve been through, done or said…you deserve to feel lighter again.