I feel like that title alone makes people say…okay, what’s your point? Tell us something we don’t know. It’s not news, I’ve NEVER been “cool” and it makes me slightly go into giggle fits when people say anything of the sort to me. That snort laugh kind of a thing you expect from a Drew Barrymore type of character in the 90’s.
I am weird, I am awkward so much of the time. I get confused at jokes easily, I get flustered and embarrassed all the time. I try, I fail, I spill, I make a mess. I don’t know where I’m going, I don’t know what I walked into a room for. I don’t know what I’m walking out with or without sometimes.
I’m blonde! Can I blame it on that? No, really, I am such a blonde..but I will tell you, I work my BUTT off and I am also really really smart on another side of the spectrum here. I am not a perfect business woman but when I get into work and shooting mode, I go go go. I blog frequently enough considering I’m a mother of three with a lot going on, I answer an inbox that has grown to this freakishly huge size nowadays that I don’t even recognize because apparently I am getting good at getting people to be directed to my email inbox finally instead of Instagram and Facebook messages…but I am also reaching a higher volume of people.
I love it. Bring it on.
I have had some awesome things happen to me in life. Lots of bad things, too. Sad, dark, not fun things..but that’s not what this is about today. I want to tell you that I am not cool, nor will I ever be, nor do I care.
You guys, I really don’t care. It’s as simple as that. I will never dress awesome, I will never be able to pull of using the latest slang (I still don’t think I’ve said the word fleek..all I know is that people with awesome eyebrows apparently are on it……? LOLOLOL) – and I am in my 30’s thanking God that I made it to see another day.
I get another day to watch my girls grow.
I get to bug my husband another day.
I get to live in the Outer Banks with the smallest ocean view ever, but it’s there.
I get to do what I love.
I love the Lord and feel his loving, warm and comforting embrace now more than ever.
So why…why stress fitting in? Being cool and being liked?
Do you know when everyone started to “like” (social media term wise) me more? When I gave up trying to fit in, and started being myself. That’s not just something people say, it’s REAL. My faulted, mistake-ridden, tired but happy mom self who stopped apologizing for being a generally sunny and happy person. I used to feel like I needed to hide the happy, nerdy, overly-excited UNCOOL me to blend in. Most of the people I know complain a lot and if I did the opposite, if I praised God and was thankful…that made me different. It made me less cool.
Well, you know what Billy Madison says about being COOL.
I guess we all have our different definitions. For me, being happy and okay with uncool is standing in the ocean in a romper the color of the ocean and not having a care in the world because in this moment, my husband told me I was beautiful and made me smile. Super uncool, super blessed to be alive.