HI friends!!! I can’t even say enough how much we loved all of the awesome comments and love from the anniversary weekend post last Friday and we are SO happy you understand how much-needed a social media free weekend was for us! Well, just for me…because I’m pretty sure Mike has a post for our anniversary about me on Facebook I need to check. But, I’m not really willing to sign on just yet to look at it…..and that’s okay 🙂
Firstly, I think it’s funny how some of us are like “yes the over-checking of social media is SUCH a huge problem for me!” and others are not at all in that boat. I know and will say it outright exactly why it’s an issue for me and why this unconnected weekend had to happen…it’s because my amazing business I am so so thankful for has all been born and grown exponentially from the use of social media and I am unbelievably grateful for that but it makes me live in constant connection to a world outside of my own little bubble. Outside of this beautiful, tangle, actual life I am living RIGHT now, in my little condo, with my feet in the saltwater and my arms around my daughters. If the phone is in my hand, I can’t hold my baby girl’s hand. If my eyes are on Facebook, I’m missing their faces and their smiles and the way I know they may be looking at me looking at the phone wondering why that phone deserves more attention than them. I could burst into tears writing this right now, I really could.
I just want you to know that it’s okay if you feel this too, we are a product of this time and age and technology and while I truly believe it is an incredible gift…one that has grown my absolute dream business, it’s become such a problem for so many of us. I want us to be healthy together using this tool, I want to STAY CONNECTED to you friends!! And, I want my incredibly cute brides and butt-grabbing grooms to keep finding me and booking me because of Facebook and Instagram! So…it’s not goodbye, not even see you later..it just comes down to a little structure and management. So, we (Mike is helping me out) are going to trial-and-error this thing for a month, see when we find ourselves on it most, see how we can add a little structure and find a way to feel like WE are in control of social media, not the other way around. We want to break the habit of clicking on the icons by default, of the temptation to check all of those notifications first thing in the morning. Mike and I can’t WAIT to share with you next month in August what has worked for us and how we can help you get your life and time back a little more by structuring your social media use 🙂
So, what did I learn in a short 48 hours without social media? Five main things really stood out to me.
1. It’s absolutely become second nature. I could close my eyes and click on the icons on my phone to sign on to Instagram and Facebook because I know so well where they are. And the funniest part is that I don’t even HAVE a Facebook icon on my phone! It’s usually open in my web browser. Every single time I got a text this weekend, or edited a picture in VSCO, or checked the weather… when I was done I close it and automatically open Instagram or Facebook, literally without truly thinking about it. Isn’t that just………..kind of sad?!?! I opened Facebook and Instagram “accidentally” because of that second nature about 7-8 times this weekend!! And then when I saw the notifications pop up it hit me and I closed it right away.
2. It was hardest in the morning. My first thoughts on both days were that I needed to pick up my phone off the night stand and open my social media accounts. Wow. MY FIRST thoughts. I have a FitBit I usually wear to bed so I can see the time on there and that’s ALL I need to be checking. In addition to that…we have an actual digital clock (BUY ONE!) next to the bed now so that I can see the time without checking my phone…because you know when you pick up your phone to check the time, you also end up naturally clicking on to the next thing and we can see the ocean in the distance from our bedroom window so why in the world in the morning do I need to be looking at my phone? I love mornings, I adore mornings, I want to be present for my mornings because how I spend them shapes the rest of my day.
3. Time moved correctly. This may sound strange…but for the first time in a very, very long time…time moved the right way. Every single moment this weekend I checked the time, it was way earlier than I thought. It was TRULY amazing, it felt for the first time in so long that I was actually living in the moment and experiencing a real day. I understand VERY much so now why we call social media and over clicking and getting lost a “time suck” because my days felt very extra long this weekend and I loved that. Haven’t seen that in years and years.
4. I was nicer and Mike said I acted way less rushed. I asked him at dinner, “what did you notice about this weekend with me not checking my phone as often?” — and he said something he never says to me…that I as way more laid back and not rushed. If you know me, that’s a slight miracle. The reason I was like this was because when I’m on my phone and I see a bunch of things people are doing or get lost in the scrolling, I realize I look up and 10 more minutes has gone by. I lose time! It disappears! So being less rushed is a HUGE plus for me and it positively affecting my family. I didn’t get so impatient with the girls either, they had my very full attention.
5. I was reconnecting with my favorite thing, my girl’s faces. I hear them all day. Oh boy do I hear them, you can’t not hear those wild women. But I don’t always look up. In fact, I rarely look up and it pained me deeply when I recently realized this. I am so consumed in dishes, getting that blog post done, that email, that scrolling and commenting and messaging and posting that I don’t look up and when Cammy spoke to me last week and I was looking at her in the eyes the whole time, she lit up and was surprised. I could feel it pouring out of her heart through her squinty smile that she was savoring getting that undivided attention from me and my heart literally was aching seeing and realizing this. How could I have gotten to this point? They will NEVER be this little again. So…with that said…
The experiment is continuing. I have scheduled posts most of the week already set up (via the Later app) and then the things that happen on those days (sessions and sneak peeks, moments with the girls, mentoring, a wedding, etc) will be scheduled to post around the time they happen but I won’t drop everything to do that right away. And…my FAVORITE new rule is that those girls will not see that phone in my hand anymore unless it’s Daddy calling on his breaks from work. Nope. No more pink case in Mommy’s hands in front of them. It’ll stay plugged on the counter and if I need to post and use it during my small intentionally scheduled breaks during the scheduled post times, I’ll make sure they aren’t seeing me on it.
We are so thankful to have such a fun, interactive, kind, beautiful and hilarious network of friends and we are looking so forward to staying connected with you in the healthiest way. I hope you can find peace with it, too if it’s been an issue for you…we are excited to do this experiment and share what we find! HAPPY MONDAY PALS!!! 🙂 Much love from Kitty Hawk NC 🙂
Want to keep up with the Outer Banks mama of three little girls shooting weddings and small business photography while making time for the things that matter most? Click on the links below!