We just got back from a really surprisingly successful trip to Front Porch Cafe with some of our favorite people, the McKeag family! They have two little girls our girls ages and a new baby on the way and we are so so happy for them!! We also appreciate people we can hang out with who are not going to judge the meltdowns and girly drama that comes with our little ones and it’s been so good just to spend a little time with them while they are on vacation this week from Richmond.
When we were just leaving Front Porch, Kristi asked me I remember the post I did where I talked about how I bent down to hug Cammy when she was very little and throwing a fit in a pharmacy in Virginia Beach a few years ago, when she was my only child and it was a rough moment in public. I remember it SO clearly, I do..because it was a moment where I had a choice. I could fuss and say UGH this is so embarrassing, you’re being so bad, shush up…stop crying, you’re being a brat. I wanted to explode or just at least sass her back because well….DAUGHTERS, lol. All the sass, all the drama. But instead that day I chose to bend down and get down on her level. I hugged her. She pulled away and kept trying to get out of my hug and continue the fit but I kept saying, I love you and I want you to calm down. I know you’re mad, I get it. But….I’m still going to hug you. And…I still love you.
I had tried it before a few times and it never worked, but for some reason, that time it did work. She calmed down. I was surprised that being kind to her during a time she didn’t “deserve” it actually worked for us and she said sorry. The thing about children (and adults) during rough moments is that sometimes they need love the most when they deserve it the least. And this won’t always work, in fact, it may NEVER work..I don’t know how your kids are and I know this doesn’t always have a successful outcome, but I can tell you…it’s worth a try every now and then. Sometimes our kids are frustrated while trying to communicate things to us when we’re so busy on our phones, cleaning up, not being fully present with them..and to be honest, they need to know you’re really there and listening. They need MORE of us, they need more love and attention than we’re giving them in this day and age and it’s time to get back to that.
When the girls start fighting for the third time in five minutes…I want to yell. Sometimes, I do! Oftentimes…I do actually :/ But I will tell you something…when I get away from the dishes, or the phone, or the task at hand and I go over there and make us group hug and kiss and we end up laughing, that sure is worth taking time to go over there and bend down with them for. It really changes everything when it works. Not every time, but often enough to be worth a try 🙂