If you know me, you know I love to read. Amanda five years ago, not so much. Amanda now needs a budget set so I don’t go and over do it on BOOKS. I’d rather have a new book than a new shirt or jewelry or pretty much anything. Reading has poured new life into me through others who were meant to share their gift and words with women like me, desperate to know they are not alone in so many avenues. Sometimes…books reach out with recurring themes and light bulbs go off. That’s why you get this post today!
One common thing I have read recently is haunting me a little…and I wonder if you feel this, too. If you do, I want you to just envision you and me strolling down the beach together on the best Fall day…super salty, not too hot and long sleeves. JUST right. We’re having a heart to heart and you can admit this to me: you are always waiting for more happiness. You may generally be happy, but you think you will be MORE happy when X, Y and Z happen. You wonder, when will everything be perfect? When will I have everything that makes me truly well rounded and content?
The other day Jack Johnson told me this “We got everything we need right here and everything we need is enough”.
Everything we need is enough.
We have everything we need already.
I understand there are extenuating circumstances and we are all different…but I remember praying for the things I have now.
I rode the bus in Norfolk for four years and now I have a car.
For one summer I only could afford tuna & saltines and now we are able even on our Dave Ramsey budget to save money on good, healthy groceries and I never go hungry.
I waited tables with anxiety of the inevitable mistreatment to come and now I’m my own boss, still working very hard but doing something that lights me up and fuels my creative soul.
When others were seemingly becoming pregnant left and right and so easily and all I wanted was a baby and then I got to have three little mermaids of my own.
When as a child I had no choice but to inhale secondhand smoke and endure witnessing severe alcoholic episodes nightly now I have the choice to breathe salt air and not ever, ever have to smell smoke near my home again and make the choice not to drink alcohol around my children.
If you think that once you get that nicer car, or those hardwood floors, of that bigger, better wardrobe you’ll “be happier” … something has gone really wrong with priorities and perspective. YES – hardwood floors would make me HAPPY, and I hope we get them, but that’s not what will fulfill me and I can’t say that life will be better when that comes. We need a reality check. We are always wanting more. The latest trend, the better clothes, the demo’d and incredibly flipped home with all the shiny things. That stuff is SO FINE to work up to and aspire to, and I’m a dreamer baby! I think we should ALL keep working toward things we want! But please don’t think you can’t be happy until A, B, C, D and E and so on are ‘done’ and checked off. Guess what happened when I was in a rush to check off the list?
Our family almost died. Because puppy was next on my list. I had a stupid, ridiculous mental life accomplishment list I thought had to happen in a particular order. I rushed it. I didn’t let it come naturally, I said yeah let’s just hurry and meet this rescue pup even though it DOES NOT fit into our schedule this week. We’re already busy this week, but we have a tiny window we can squeeze this into. I am a girl who has been slowly learning and understand what to say yes to and what to say no to, I knew better. And then this:
I went against my heart. I could have lost my whole family for that. I could go into more detail but it’s actually eerie how that night of the car accident unfolded. Weird clouds and weather and signs Mike and I were both disturbed by but both of us continued to push through and keep driving. I can’t share all of it, and it’s still not our fault because we’re not the ones who ran the stop sign and caused it (we were not at fault in any way) but I wish I hadn’t have been on the road that night. I thought “once I get there, I’ll finally be happy and have everything we want/need” – but where is there?
I already was happy before the accident. I already had everything I needed. But I thought that you had to keep having “life events” pop up and things could never be slowed down because that meant we weren’t getting bursts of happiness coming through at a steady pace, just as soon as one lost it’s traction and volume I had to throw in another. And now, I’m a different and more fearful driver for the rest of my life for it. Not to mention the injuries still affecting me to this day.
I am a SMART, grateful and inspired woman. I knew better than to chase something against what my schedule felt comfortable accommodating that week – but I went against that. Don’t do that. Realize that YOUR HAPPY is RIGHT HERE. It’s what you make of right now. It’s what you make of today. If you are never satisfied enough to soak in the beauty that is your life and take it all in, you will never be humbled or grateful for what you have.
Water that grass, friends. It’ll be SO green before you know it.
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