This could potentially seem like such a basic concept but if you dig DEEP, you’re going to have a revelation. Like, A BIG ONE. If you take your wall down and get a little vulnerable, if you choose to be brave and face hard truths in this moment…it could change you.
Let’s start with this. When Mike used to forget to do something he promised, or do something to make me mad…I really thought that “hurting him back” was the only way to feel better. Like, saying mean things and pointing out additional things he “did wrong” or missed. Am I proud of this? No, but I was like that toward him at least until Ellie was born. It was just this snappy, uptight version of me that really thought that my frustration would be alleviated if I could just “get him back” – you know? If you don’t know, I commend you. But I know plenty of people who have snapped on a love one. It’s a impulsive and split second reaction that tricks us into believing that we’ll feel RELIEF after going off or being mean. It doesn’t have to be split second though, it can also be slow and calculated, which is far worse. Building a “list” of things to hold against them or things to dig at them by. It’s not freaking pretty.
But let’s be real. ALL we feel is guilt after. Like, even if you’re right….which Mike will tell you most of my snapping was justified with him being totally forgetful, HAHAHA, it doesn’t mean I had to go the cruel route.
Hang with me here.
So when we’re hurt for whatever reason, what can we do?
NEWSFLASH – You can not transfer your hurt. You can’t take it from your heart and soul and drop it off in someone else’s body…you’ll actually do something way worse and you’ll multiply it, giving it more power. You may temporarily feel a high (hello, that’s the devil!) from hurting someone else but the truth will always come to light in the quiet moments of your day, the guilty reminders around you that you are actually still hurting and not ONLY has it not left your heart, it’s got a big heaping pile of shame placed on top now.
Now, you’re a hurting person who willingly chose to hurt another person and you justified it.
I know this, because I’ve been this. There have been so many times of my life where I thought I could transfer my hurt. I was so, so wrong. I will ALWAYS carry my guilt and the only thing that frees me from my moments of the shame of hurting others is the Lord and His endless and gracious mercies I am given. I still have a hard time accepting that grace but I know it’s there for me. And guess what? It’s there for you.
And now it’s time to make a choice, you have a QUICK SOLUTION every single time you go to think of hurting someone else, snapping back at them, nit-picking, etc. You can remember this simple truth:
*No hurt can ever leave you by giving it to anyone else but God. You have to heal yourself, love yourself, accept yourself, FORGIVE yourself. And once you do that? My sweet friend… you won’t feel the need to hurt anyone anymore. Even yourself.*
What a joy to know the Lord is waiting for you. He’s there, now, waiting for you to hand it to Him. You’re not alone. He knows your heart and he knows there is better for you.
Choose Him. Choose joy.
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