Was that title confusing!? Well, so is life right now! And routine, and problem solving, and not having enough hands to handle all situations occurring in this household all at once! Or occurring in public places like grocery stores, ohhhh what have we gotten ourselves into!?
I have to say first of all I am so beyond thankful for Mike being able to take time off to help me, because although generally I was healing okay, something as “small” as a SNEEZE caused my incision to open and I can’t even tell you how painful it was and how mad I was when I let myself sneeze and didn’t stop it, I was NOT thinking about that! Coughing, sneezing and laughing (what a bummer because post-partum you NEED to laugh!!) — they all caused this sharp “ripping” pains near my incision, but the initial sneeze that did it I will never forget the pain of! I am so thankful he was around longer to help carry things, manage our sick girls and their needs, etc while I healed a little longer, I’m just NOW allowed to drive again!
The first couple of days, everything was SO wonderful. We loved our time in the hospital and oh my gosh parents who already have at least one child and are going to have another, if you can– TAKE THAT TIME in the hospital to get used to and to bond with that new baby! I will never ever forget that exclusive time with my little Autumn in my dim and calmly lit hospital room watching tv, hanging out, starting to nurse her and get used to that again. It was so worth it! I know our other girls missed us and I think Ellie had a little of a hard time which stressed us out, so we left a day earlier than anticipated BUT we were soooo happy to have those two nights and three days with Autumn there at Sentara.
We got home, and things were fine..and then they went CRAZY. Like, lots of sweet moments but LOTS of meltdowns. The dynamic was incredibly different because normally Mike takes one kid and I take the other, but this time, I had to hold Autumn a lot more often (like I never put her down, this is just how I am when I have a new baby, the first two weeks it PAINS me to put them down or pass them off! I have a lot of emotional attachment to them having just been in my womb and it’s just hard for me to put them down.) — so Mike was having to manage the worst of the worst double tempers alone. Ellie especially was acting out because she was mad we weren’t there a couple days and she is SO used to sitting in my lap and being the “baby” — but I included her so heavily in snuggling and holding her so the next week she was completely fine and has been ever since! She’s been holding on to one side of me while I hold the baby on the other side, it’s SO much better and she’s just so smoothly transitioned by now!
Both big girls were VERY SICK for Christmas too, like super sore throats and it was a mess. Cammy and Ellie have never had a sore throat so they were angry, there was a lot of negative energy then. I kept thinking, why now?! Why is ALL of this happening now?! I’m having TERRIBLE nursing pain (normal for me at the beginning with each girl! I have to bite down on something to avoid screaming the first two weeks, it’s no picnic but I PUSH through it!) — both girls are sick, seriously it was such a mess but we GOT THROUGH!! That was our biggest lesson from these first two weeks, you are gonna get SO challenged with bad days. Horrible stressful days with yelling and fussing and miserable kids and parents but you’re going to do your best to be patient, do your best to focus and problem solve and do your best to love every single person in your household despite the immense challenges presented on the worst of days.
The hardest things about three kids in the first two weeks:
-Hearing from family that our almost two year old was having a hard time without us at the house while I was trying to recover in the hospital
-Having the girls come to the hospital around nap time when they were angry and exhausted
-Sneezing my incision open, coughing it open worse and then yelling at Mike for making me laugh and hurting it worse
-Two sick kids, ages four and two, with super sore throats, something they’re not used to – kind of a nightmare
-My boobs, my POOR POOR BOOBS 🙁 — it’s getting better slowly but surely! The joys of early nursing days..
-Baby blues and adjusting emotionally
-Ellie being sick put her in a bad mood and had her fighting us a lot and I took it horribly personally and felt like dirt not being able to make her better
-When we thought Mike was going back to work after just a week (he didn’t…I physically needed his help longer so he stayed, unpaid which will be hard but it’s okay, we’ll figure it out)
-Not being able to really take care of myself and wanting to feel “pretty” post partum just to get my mood up
-When everyone was crying at once, wow, the first time that happens you’re like OH MY GOSH THREE CRYING CHILDREN, someone get me a big ass bowl of chocolate ANYTHING to eat my feelings ASAP! Super stressful hahaha! But then you get through it 🙂
-Getting my staples out, that pinched pretty badly :/ but you gotta do it!
-Did I mention these poor boobs? Good gosh nursing is insanely hard for me at first ALWAYS, and yes, I nursed the other girls for over a year so I know what to do it’s just rough in the beginning!
Well, you know I would never leave a blog post on a negative note so let’s go over the GOOD things about the first two weeks with three little ones! 🙂
The BEST things about three kids in the first two weeks:
-Just seeing ALL THREE of these girls together! Oh my gosh, and watching them meeting for the first time and loving her, it was so incredible. Nothing like it!
-Watching them love her so much they actually fight over her, a little hectic but endearing haha!
-Watching Cammy and Ellie’s dynamic INSTANTLY change! These two almost immediately became friends on a different level than before. They played before, loved each other before, but something new was in the air– they were on the same friendship level moreso than “okay Ellie you’re my little sister so I’m just gonna tell you how to play and what to do” — it was a little more of an equal playing field and I loved watching them change in that way! Ellie was SO happy!!!
-Ellie and Cammy LOVE grabbing a diaper and wipe for me when I need it!
-And blankets for her, and anything she needs, they LOVE contributing!
-A couple of times, Cammy AND Ellie have gotten out of their beds together and run in our room in the morning to wake us up or just to come in and see us and the baby, and it’s been a really sweet moment for us 🙂
-Grocery shopping together, even when it’s crazy
-Going to eat somewhere together and it goes surprisingly smoothly
-Hearing the girls rush over to Autumn whenever she cries and say “the baby’s crying! mommy, feed her! change her!” — watching them care so much!
There are so many things to be thankful for. We didn’t know how this surgery was going to go, we had so many fears. It’s been a HUGE roller coaster of two weeks but we’re SO thankful for all of it no matter what because our family is all together and complete now. Five waves in our sea and we couldn’t be happier 🙂